What I mean by that is when something happens, something is said and you feel yourself going into a knee jerk reaction, give yourself time and space.

Take a deep breath and wait.

Do not react immediately, if necessary count to ten and breathe.

Allow the reaction you had, to what was said or done, to calm down.

If somebody has said something you don’t like, ask the question “Did you mean what I heard?”, not what they said, in the majority of cases people mean what they say because that is the meaning they hold for what they have said.

However, the meaning you have understood could be totally different.

Do not phrase it in the same why they did, rephrase what you think they said or should I say meant and say those words to them.

Give them the chance to realise that there is the possibility that between you there is a misunderstanding.

Let there be the chance to put that misunderstanding right, right there and then, rather than there being an upset, an argument, aggravation (you can choose the words you like here), that can go on, not just for hours, or days, or weeks but can go on for months and years.

Friendships and families can be torn apart by a misunderstanding.

It is time for you all to learn to take a step backwards when you feel slighted, disagreed with, not accepted (again you come up with whatever terminology you choose that fits).

Is there something that has happened in your life recently?

Whether it is something you have said to somebody that was meant by you in one way but potentially has been taken in a different way by another person.

Or something that has been said or done to you, that you could have misinterpreted?

Have the courage to speak to that individual or individuals, calmly, quietly, in control and if they meant it as you took it, then you have a choice as to whether that friendship, relationship, whatever it is, remains or you choose to walk away.

However, if there has been a misunderstanding, the sooner you can help to potentially put it right, the more comfortable life becomes for you all.

Have the courage to break the trend of not asking, of not facing calmly a situation that has potentially, or could potentially be blown out of all control.

However, you do need to remember, and “you”, means all of you, not an individual you, you all need to remember that each has the right to choose their own path.

That each has the right to say Yes and No, you have to be true to you; asking others to honour that for you and you in return honour when somebody is being true to them.

It is not about people pleasing, it is not about upsetting and angering others, it is just about being true to you.

Have faith, belief and trust in yourself.

Let go of judgement and anger and try and understand where another may be coming from.

And why did you react in the way you did?

And at the end of each day, it doesn’t matter what others think of you, what is most important is what you think and feel about yourself.

I understand you probably do not wish to hurt or offend another, you have to realise that if somebody else is hurt or offended by something you say, it is what they are going through and probably has nothing to do with you.

And when you become hurt and offended by another, what are you going through? It has nothing to do with them.

Trust and believe in yourself Sweet Soul, as I trust and believe in You

Namaste

Copyright © Sara Jane 2019